One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
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All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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