He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
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he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
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HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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