I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Found your dick twin last night
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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