Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
time to smoke my breakfast
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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