I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
