I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
