Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
