am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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