It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
