Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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