the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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