Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
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when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
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I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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