remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
