Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
