I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
