I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
