There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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