im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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