Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize