a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
