at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
