come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Send help, water and tortillas.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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