every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
