we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
