Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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