You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
