At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
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