i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
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I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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