Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize