john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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