i jhust puked up my retainher.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
