Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
