every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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