I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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