He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
