Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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