there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
