I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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