Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
