Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
