did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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