Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Randomize
