It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize