I cockslap morals
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
