There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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