the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
