You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
