about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Sorry about my life...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
