then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
