Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize