I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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