We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
