It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
