Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
