It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
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this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
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perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
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