She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
