just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
